A couple years back I collaborated with someone who claimed to hold a safe space for others. It quickly became evident how they were anything but safe. This led me to contemplate how the term "safe space" like so many others, had become a buzzword used to draw people in. Here lies the issues with this.
Claiming to hold a "safe space" for people without having proper understanding and education can be incredibly problematic, dangerous even. It’s important to understand what a "safe space" truly means before claiming to provide one.
It goes beyond simply creating a calming environment. A safe space requires a deep understanding of how to hold a container for individuals who are seeking emotional and psychological support, as well as physical safety and nervous system regulation.
Without this knowledge, inviting people in under the pretense of a safe space can actually cause harm.
It's not just about creating the right setting, or being judgment-free and surrounded by like-minded individuals. It also extends beyond being free from certain triggers such as noise, lights, loud voices, strong scents, or specific people, etc. To truly hold a safe space, understanding these elements is helpful, but even more crucial is for the group leader to know how to manage the group dynamics effectively.
This includes guiding conversations in a safe manner, addressing any inappropriate behavior tactfully, and redirecting the dialogue back to safety when needed. At times it requires interruption and on the spot education. It requires the group leader to know how to navigate difficult conversations and even physical responses.
Another crucial aspect to find out is whether your guide is trained for emergencies. Do they know how to handle a crisis beyond just calling 911? Are they trauma informed? Do they have any training beyond their speaking skills? I know these questions may seem trivial, but they’re crucial considerations when it comes to your safety.
So if you’re seeking support, especially in a group setting, and you see the term safe space, ask questions. Find out what’s safe about it. You might learn their concept of safety is wildly out of alignment with yours.
From my own experience, I've learned there are some people out there in leadership roles that think a safe space is the right lighting and calming music.
I say, keep looking my friends.....